Be direct and tough on resolving the problem and gentle and respectful of the person.
It’s okay to mess up on technique if you are warm, empathetic and genuinely connected to the parties.
Integrity in our communication is consistency between what we’re thinking and feeling and what we’re saying out loud. What we say and how we say it also need to match.
Be fully present and centered with neutral attention.
“Just Listen” with unconditional positive regard for all parties.
Connect with parties while remaining impartial, not taking sides.
Focus on creating a safe space for parties to talk to each other about the emotional and material impact of their conflict.
Agreements are not central to the process. Yet very often happens.
Take a non-directive approach where there is minimal intervention in the dialogue between parties.
Offer choices.
Set a respectful and calm tone.
What is true for you is not necessarily true for another.
Disagreement is okay.
Allow sharing of information and feelings without cross examination.
Others may not see it the way you see it. Check it out. Ask clarifying questions.
Validate other people’s experience even though you didn’t have the same experience.
Take responsibility for how you feel and for what happened.
Touch – holding hands, hugging, touching
Religious rituals or language
Judgmental language (opinions)
Assuming what makes me feel safe should also make you feel safe is a fallacy.